I could keep quiet about this. But till I don’t write it out I am not going to be okay.
I will start by admitting I am not a fan of Lena Dunham. For various reasons and that isn’t even important at this point. Now that she’s being called a child molester for inspecting her sister’s privates as a child makes me deeply uncomfortable. I could start by making you understand how this is wrong on many levels and to come out in a book and say that just makes it worse. But what tops that off is people dismissing this as feminism. How is this feminism? In what world is this okay? Certainly not one worth living in, in my opinion.
I could give you an example as simple as, imagine hearing about this same incident from a Third World Country and trying to run it off as feminism. I know for a fact that would be atrocious. Unacceptable, even. Beyond the horrors of imagination.
When someone from a backward country, or let’s just say it out loud now, non-white ethnicity does something wrong on moral (human?) grounds and admits to it, that person is in for lifelong turmoil. Whether it’s accepting the act in public, whether it’s writing a book about it, whether it’s an outright admittance on television, the routes are endless. It’s often rare that people gracefully put it at the back of their minds when said name is mentioned. How the hell is what Lena Dunham,(at the time age seven), and her sister, a one year old whose legs she parted to inspect her vagina an act of feminism? Why is she writing about this? Who wanted to know? Who will raise their hands and relate to it? Was it to show how close they were as a family?
I read up many things a good many sensible people have had to say about this. I waited eagerly for Roxane Gay to speak my mind. She took some time coming around and I read her article several times. As you might’ve guessed she disappointed me and so here I am, doing a dimwitted stance at projecting what I don’t think is feminism. At least not white feminism.
I reached for Twitter and read a few things some other freelance writers had to say and this is what I understood:
1. Everyone thinks their opinion about this issue matters so much.
2. It’s one thing to sit around pretending you don’t care but it’ll only take that one sentence, that one trigger, that one badly framed retort someone offered to someone else but somehow bothered you to no end. Soon enough you’re pulled in the vortex and will believe #1.
3. I read an Asian person’s response to this and I also read an American’s. I read how both of them were on the same page but how personally each one took this to their race. This is not about any of us or where we come from. But even I couldn’t separate my opinion from my background.
4. Say what you will, feminism is now a word with a negative connotation. The fact that you have to justify what it is and isn’t itself is depressing and doesn’t help the cause.
I don’t know how to be okay with the fact that Roxane Gay said families are weird and therefore justified what Lena Dunham openly admitted to the world. Yes, families are weird, they are insidiously weird. Yes, families do weird things but you know what, that weirdness stays within the family. It is not something you proudly put on display. Being able to discuss your inspection of your sister’s vagina to the world is not courageous. It’s anything but. So this is why I’m always afraid to say I believe in feminism. Clearly, in some parts of the world feminism is stitched and altered to condone certain behaviours no matter how disgusting they are. It’s a quick-save. A backpedalling of sorts. A kind of substitute moral compass.
People are forgetting feminism is never rash and vulgar.
(This is just my opinion among many others. I wrote this out to clear my mind. This might have sentence structure mistakes or other syntax errors which I plead you to overlook as I wrote this at one go and do not want to go back and proofread; that’ll only make me more upset. Typing so fast, especially when you’re angry is almost always a bad choice. I know. I never learn.)