Tag Archives: time

Let’s (Not) Hang Out, Please?

There are hundreds of reasons why a person may not want to hang out with you. That being said, there are another hundred reasons behind those reasons why a person may actually not want to hang out with you. Here is a key I’ve developed for deciphering those confusing responses you get when you ask someone, “Hey, want to catch up over coffee later? We could totally hang out, you know!”

See, well that’s the problem. I remember back when I was younger and there was no Instagram and smartphone addiction, ‘hanging out’ was The Coolest Thing you could do with your time. Hell, if you weren’t out there, having a crazy time with your BFFs, you seriously needed to scrutinize why. WHY AREN’T YOU HAVING FUN! No seriously, why not? What is so important that you can’t get out and spend an entire day, doing absolutely pointless things which lead to funny stories you can reminisce about later in front of others? At least that was how things worked back in the 90’s. You asked someone if they were free after school or on the weekend and they said yes and that would culminate into something fun, platonic, stress-free and well…fun.

Things aren’t so simple now. There are people who are very much involved in the hanging out scenes and there are those who are simply not. When you ask someone if they’re free later to hang out and they tell you that they will let you know, chances are they are never going to be free. Period. You have to pick up the pieces of hope you pinned up on that friendship and move the hell on. Also, if I’m not wrong, this person will most likely be doing this to you…All.The.Time. Unfair as it is, it seems as though you’re continuously asking for something which they possess but will not part with, i.e., their time.

Let’s dig deeper now, shall we?

You ask someone if they’re free later to hang out and they tell you that they will let you know. Have you considered that probably they might not be free later? By giving you a diplomatic yet hopeful response they’re also leaving sufficient room for uncertainty, for disappointment. Next time when you hear that response do brace your heart, love.

Sometimes, and most of the times, people do not like to hang out. It’s entirely possible that they’ve thrown themselves into their studies and careers and just cannot afford to take a break. Also, they wouldn’t want to trade their few hours of spare time in a week where they burn the midnight oil just to make some quality time for themselves, later. When and if you ask such a person out for coffee, it’s not their fault if they say an outright, “no, I’m busy.” Truth is, they are busy and do not find you worthy enough to devote the last few hours of an hourglass that they’re constantly racing against.

I also know people who are very enthusiastic about being asked to spend time with. They anticipate it with a renewed sense of excitement and slight trepidation. I admire such people because I’m not one of them and from where I see it; it’s quite difficult and exhausting. They know that it’s going to be a new experience and they are well aware how things can sometimes go south. But they fly at the opportunity, anyway.

One of two things can happen, when you go out with said, enthusiastic person. You can either have the exact conversation you’ve replayed to perfection in your head while in the shower or (and that’s a big ‘oooorrrr’), you will want to fake a cardiac just to get yourself out of the torture of sitting across them for another few hours, arms crossed, tapping foot, while they’re too busy sliding their thumb over their Facebook feed. It’s a clear sign when a person cannot stay away from their phone for at least 15 minutes that they want out. Pick up on That Sign and let them go. Tell them that they’re dreadful conversationalists and that you did not want to waste your precious time and money over a coffee that you sip while staring at them, staring at their smartphone. It is by all means unacceptable and someone needs to put their foot down, already.

I read somewhere that the less commitments that you have in your life means lesser the compromise, and in this environment you can get a lot done. This works because I know a friend who was extremely social but got grounded for a stretch of many months and didn’t know what to do with all his free time. He was stumped later by how much he could get done on his own. Of course, he’s back to his old ways now, more or less. But you get the point, don’t you? I’ve been termed as a ‘hermit’ and also someone who is “anti-social” (seriously, get your vocabulary checked when you use that term in this context), and I know that we all need human interactions even though I’d much rather stay home because well, it’s free and I have broadband internet and a refrigerator. Maybe you could try other ways, like Google Hang Outs and Esc(ape) with the excuse of a poor connection (works every time!) Or (the small, happy ‘or’ indicating hope and possibility) appease me with your stellar wit and beautiful mind from across thousands of miles and for a change make me want to ask you out for coffee, later, maybe?

Purple Persons

Purple doesn’t seek too much attention.

You’re safely between the colour and my words. I think of your favourite cherry ice cream and then I think of all the distance there is.

Purple will stand there across the dance floor and wait till someone spots it, glowing in silent exuberance.

I spot a point on a map and I calculate time variances. I make celestial references and I like looking through the glass.

Purple will swear proudly that it doesn’t pride in it’s elegance.

You say that one can get away with anything if they’re actually good enough.I have sworn to desire you with all my might but I’ve also sworn to be equally patient. Purple is for the wrestle that ensues between the two. It’s knowing what’s there and knowing full well what it can still be.

Purple is a colour just beneath your skin and outside your bones.

Purple will always manifest it’s sheen when required but purple will also be  for the ones who choose to shy away from things they desire.

Purple is the place I keep you in.

I watch water ripples and wonder if it can match the curve of your smile. Nothing is impossible. I also sense the sun shine with all it’s might and listen to every sound around me, knowing full well that I need to absorb this so I can narrate it to you.

Purple is for the hearts that you couldn’t keep from breaking.

There is everything and there is also nothing. But what’s in-between counts too. You make me live these in-betweens.

Purple is me and what if I told you, you’re the Purple in me.

The One Who Didn’t Treat You Right

The One who didn’t treat you right deserves no more to be The One.

“A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he’s still left with his hands.”

-Richard Siken

The one who didn’t treat your body right. You assumed they’d do something interesting with it. You didn’t know what.

You hoped they would find out and let you know. You waited endlessly and Time started leaving your side without a warning notice.There was a vacant look in your eye when you’ll were together. You were dreaming of coral reefs under an ocean. You were hoping for something different that you didn’t already know. For fear of losing everything you decided to hold on to at least something.

It wasn’t that you were weak. You were too stubborn to let go of what you thought (or assumed) you had rightful claim upon. Time caught up, finally. You wake up one day and the air seems heavy with the past. You look around, you have a sudden sense of emergency, of an hourglass flipped over, of the platform moving away as the train moved forward. You run like you’ve never run before. Cars and cafes pass in a blur. And you can see the bokeh from the corner of the eye. Like the ones you saw in those tumblr pictures. You think of a movie where people run towards their destiny. You avoid thinking of those that run away from theirs. You have a hand cupped around something invisible. It’s strange you can’t shake it off. But you try not to think of such conundrums. You run till you can run no more and suddenly you wake up. There’s a slight buzzing in your head. You’re in a stranger’s washroom filled with beauty products which one only buys but never intends to use. You look at your face and try to spot any changes. But you’re still the same. And your hands, they are still urging for that invisible form, so you look down at your palms. You wash them, repeatedly. You scrub them. How were you going to wash something invisible away, you will ask later. You will justify to yourself you were being paranoid. Fair enough.
You look at the mirror one more time, not knowing what to find there. It isn’t too difficult to lose yourself once you’ve lost everything else that matters. But you know in your head, you ran. You ran far away and there’s a place you’ve carved for yourself. Your very own wonderland and you can rest there. In moments of worry, you can shut your eyes and go there and come back when you please. Just make sure you wash your hands clean.